Oh To Be Alive

It is tragic when someone looses their “life” (as in work, home, community, belongings, etc.) in an unexpected event.  The crisis in loss beyond your control is felt as your life taken from you.  A devastatingly painful change, especially for those without a hope of heaven.

It is quite different to give up my DC life.  There is great joy and freedom in choosing to sacrifice all that I have.  And of course hope is what makes the medicine go down.  It is a difficult, careful and intentional process to separate myself from all that I know.  A big question is: How do I measure the value of something?  By how often I use it?  By sentimental value?  By the length of time I’ve had it or the distance that it came to be here?  By how unusual or difficult it was to obtain?   My posessions represent something about me (experiences, interests, passions).  In this process of giving them up I am evaluating my identity.  And I mean more than the carvings, music or pictures.   Posessions is to include the people, places and activities that I have invested in.  What I call my turf.  I belong to them as much as they belong to me.  In many ways I can never loose them because they have changed me.  This familiar and comfortable life has strengthened me in order to make the decision to leave it.  This day holds great joy as I seek to answer the call of my Lord to whatever and wherever He leads me.

“She faced the question, ‘What does fear keep you from doing?’ and decided she was unwilling to let fear or disapproval keep her from action.” - Bold Spirit by Linda Lawrence Hunt.  For $10,000, Helga Estby and her daughter Clara set out in 1896 to save their family farm in Washington state by walking over 3,000 miles to New York.  The contract included: breaking status quo by leaving the husband and other 7 children, wearing riske bicycle dresses for advertisement of the new fashion, getting signatures of state officials, leaving with no more than $10 so that they would work for money along the way, enduring dangerous elements, animals and people, and completing the journey in only 7 months.  Great risk and great reward.  Pretty good book.

I am a collector of hope and inspiration.  It is difficult for me to get rid of something that speaks to me.  I have cards from 3rd grade friends, quotes from books and plays, notes from classes, lots of pictures and souveniers.  So going through it all is hard to think of letting anything go, but very uplifting to see such great jewels.  I am grateful for this blog to share some of them with you. 

“All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost;  The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost.  From the ashes a fire be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be the blade that was broken; The crownless again shall be king.” - The Breaking of the Fellowship  J.R.R. Tolken

“And as a rose, she lived as roses do, a perfect beauty of her own.” - Herb De Francois

“There is in every true woman’s heart, a spark of heavenly fire.” - Washington Irving

“MorningStar has been doing great and sounding even better!  You’d be proud of them.  You’ll see that we have recorded Behold The Lamb and Servant Song…thanks to you, they became MorningStar standards!  We all miss you tons!  I especially miss the prayer sessions you led with us…they were great.” - Dan and the Fredonia Newman Center

“Never underestimate where your dreams will take you.  2002 Graduation  Dawn, Thanks for showing me that you can achieve anything if you put your mind to it.” - Jennifer

“Thank-u for the rug.  I would like to apologize for all the religious jokes, I am just a young kid at heart and I like to joke around.  Thanx for da rug.” - Greg

“My very special Dawn,  You are one of the goodies in my life! and that’s a nice feeling.” - Great Nana

“And it’s been a truly beautiful experience where my every action has been directed towards loving Jesus in the person beside me, in the person I prepare lunch for, in the person I work for, and so on.  So it didn’t matter what I did or what I didn’t get to do, because what mattered was with what intention I did it: to love the others.  At the end of the day, I felt such a peace, such a joy, that I want now only to continue living this way.”  - Brenda

“Found him!  The eyelashes in ink were drawn by the twins…”  - Stella

On the back of a picture of a Nativity play by my cousins that was titled “Beautiful Memory”, Nana noted, “Baby Jesus in the Turkey pan.  :)”

She is ever-unfolding: growing, changing, becoming.  Her gift - like the gift of life itself - is the renewal she brings to your own spirit, as she aspires to be all that she might be. - A Daughter’s Gift by Robert Sexton

“Did you FREAK over this bill?    Miss you!”  - Court

The downside is that it will be IMPOSSIBLE to Play Dumb.

It has come up in conversations with various folks that it makes no sense to pay to work.  “You have to pay?! Do you get days off?  What about food?  They don’t cover anything?  Won’t they work you to the bone?  They don’t compensate you for your services?!  What will you come back to?”  -  Why would I quit a high-paying respectable job, complete independance, and fairly extravagant lifestyle so that I can pay to work and live full-time under the structure and uncomfortable conditions of people I haven’t met? 

I prefer to raise money to pay for myself and allow ICPE to spend its money on the people in real need.  If I felt I were entitled to anything, then this trip would be pointless.  I am going to give, and whatever I receive will be of much greater value than any income.

In high school I spent three months in Uganda with Cornerstone Development.  I asked God then, “Why was I born into middle-class America, but these friends were born into poverty-stricken Africa?  And I realized that God places each person in the time and place from which He is most glorified.  He has been preparing me and has called me to another turn on the journey.  “Much will be required of everyone who has been given much. And even more will be expected of the one who has been entrusted with more.”  Luke 12:48

As rediculous as the Super Bowl is in the grand scheme of things, I am glad to have another American holiday before I go.  Obnoxiously commercial and superficial, it is yet a good enough reason for great times to hoot and hollar with friends.  Pizza, ice cream cake, brownies and drinks top it off nicely.  The “Terrible Towel” and cap gun were fun props for the event.  Yay for the Steelers!  And my favorite commercial was the little horse pulling the carriage.  So cute!